Wax Job
by Ruinedbloodshed
Summary: G1; Mirage comes home from a spy mission to a very sexy Hound.


It's FINALY about time I wrote a fic about someone else for a change!! My first Hound x Mirage story! I hope you all enjoy it as much as my Prowl x Jazz fics! Happy Valentine's Day everyone!!

Mirage counted his blessings that he was back at base before the Earth's atmosphere collapsed around him. It had been a long… LONG scouting mission and he had dirt in places he didn't even know he had. Everything that could have gone wrong did and every worst possible scenario he could think of paled in comparison to what had happened. Who knew adolescent human males stole cars and then proceeded to enter them in what was apparently illegal street races? Who knew that the same adolescents would think he was an off road vehicle and go for a drive in the woods at one hundred miles an hour? At the end of day Mirage had ended up stolen and crashed into a tree, then abandoned. And that was just day one! The blue and white liger transformed once he was a good distance inside the entrance and twisted his face into an ugly grimace. He could feel dirt EVERYWHERE! It was in every transformation seem and in-between all his sensitive joints and gears. Transforming was actually painful! Mirage threw a sneer over his shoulder back at nature. Mirage growled at the rain and then stomped further inside the base. He HATED nature. The sooner they got off this miserable planet the happier the former noble mech would be.

First thing Mirage did was book it for the wash racks. He would report his findings, or lack thereof, to Jazz after he got the wretched dirt off and he felt like himself again. He was no Sunstreaker but he liked to be clean and presentable. What made his life miserable in the pursuit of cleanliness was the curse of white. White. The cleanest color of them all. How was it that it attracted some much untidiness to it? There was only five mechs on Earth that had a significant amount of white in their paint jobs and two of those didn't nearly have as much as he did. Earth was the worst place for a mech with a white paint job. He was spending more time washing then he ever had.

Mirage was surprised to find no Sunstreaker in the wash racks. Good. That meant he wouldn't have to faint interest in the yellow terror's constant bitching. It took a hour and a half of Earth time for the spy to be satisfied that he was shining and then another half hour for him to put on a decent coat of wax. After all the primping Mirage looked like he had never been on a seven day mission where the planet itself seemed to be trying to pulverizing him. He left the racks and pulled a data pad from his subspace and began filling it out. He typed as he walked and tried Jazz's com link. When his superior officer didn't answer any of his hails he tried contacting Prowl.

"Yes Mirage?"

"Have you seen Jazz anywhere Prowl?"

Prowl momentarily paused.

"Is it raining?"

"Er… yes. I think it still is." Mirage didn't understand what that had to do with Jazz's whereabouts.

"Then I'd try by the front entrance."

"All… right."

With that Prowl cut the comlink and Mirage headed back the entrance. When he got there the liger found his commanding officer leaned up against the entrance with his legs and arms crossed. Mirage cautiously approached the head of special operations making sure he made enough noise to announce his presences.

"Yo 'Raj." Jazz said before Mirage could greet his commander. "Welcom' back."

"Good to be back." Mirage sighed.

"I'll take your report in a moment. I gotta keep my eyes on the game."

"Game?"

Jazz nodded outside and Mirage peered out into the torrent of water. There was a group of bots out there, in the rain. The racer stood even with the Porsche to get a better view of the crazy bots outside in this weather.

"Get off my bumper!"

Mirage recognized Sideswipe's voice out in the rain.

"Grow a pair!" That could only be Wildfire. "Don't be a such a sparkling! What? Are you afraid of getting your paint job dented like your brother?"

"Ooooh boy." Jazz mumbled. "Here we go again."

"HEY! At least I'm moving the ball! Why don't you get your aft out there and take a few hits! Afraid YOU might get a few dents?"

"Oh yeah, great come back, using exactly what I said."

Mirage had to turn his night vision on to see out into the darkness. Sideswipe and Wildfire where nose to nose looking like they were going to tear each other apart.

"What are they doing?" the liger asked.

"Football." Jazz said with a shrug.

"In this weather?" Mirage said sounding scandalized.

Jazz actually chuckled to himself.

"Yep. There's less injuries in the mud."

Mirage shook his head, he couldn't understand how anyone could want to be out there in that muck.

"Knock it off! You two are on the same team"

Mirage as actually surprised to hear and see Zack out there. The black truck pushed himself between the two fighting front liners and broke them apart.

"Not anymore! Zack you're with me."

"Don't boss me around fembot." Zack growled.

"Sideswipe didn't order you, I did." Wildfire shot back.

"Low blow Wildfire…" Sideswipe growled. "Low blow! You wanta' take this off the field?"

"Ok you two. Stop it or the game is off."

"Hound?" Mirage said before he could stop himself.

Jazz glanced over his shoulder to catch the tail end of the formula one racer regaining his composure.

"Trailbraker's probably out there too making sure Grimlock doesn't make the situation worse." Jazz said with a knowing little grin.

"Let me get this straight. These six, wait for it to rain, so they can play football… in the mud?"

"That's about the size of it yeah."

"So, do you... play… in these games too?"

"Nope. I've relegated myself to playing referee. It gets rough out there."

"With a ten ton t-rex out there I sure it would be."

Jazz giggled and put his hand over his mouth.

"You kidding me? Gimlock might as well be a ten ton kitten out there. I thought the no biting rule would be for him but it's Sideswipe's teeth you have to watch out for."

Mirage looked taken aback. Jazz grinned and turned to look at the other spy.

"Oh if you think that's bad! Zack has some mean elbows that "accidentally" catch you in the face. Trailbraker's not supposed to use his shield but there have been a few mysterious trips and sudden stops. And Hound…" Jazz grinned when Mirage's optics flickered. "Hound looks all sweet and innocent… but if you're not careful he will turn you inside out."

"And they call it a game?"

Jazz glanced back out at the players that were starting to reorganize themselves into teams again.

"Last play!" He yelled. "Sipeswipe's got a patrol after this and I need him in one piece."

"Does it count if we have to send him to Ratchet to get him back in one piece?" Wildfire mocked.

"Don't start with me girl!" Jazz said sternly.

Mirage watched the six players line up opposite to each other. Hound, Zack and Wildfire on one side. Sideswipe, Grimlock and Trailbraker on the other. Hound took a step behind the two front line bots holding a transformer sided foot ball.

"Red 42! Red 42!"

"Hound shut up and throw the ball!" Zack snapped.

"HIKE!"

Zack and Wildfire broke though the opposing line like lightning and sprinted down the field. Trailbreaker and Grimlock where right on their heels. The red Lamborghini bounced on his toes as he counted out loud waiting to blitz the quarterback.

"TEN!"

Sides leapt over the line of scrimmage powering right for the green tracker. Hound saw the headstrong warrior coming and was ready. The melee fighter just didn't think when he was angry.

"WOAH!" Jazz and Mirage gaped at the same time.

Hound dipped his shoulder and sent the Lamborghini head over heels to drop to the mud behind his back with a squishy thud. He drew back and threw the football in a perfect spiral down the field. Zack reached out to catch it with Trailbraker hopelessly too far behind to catch the younger bot. Zack was grinning until the ball seemed to inexplicably bounce on thin air and go horrible astray.

"FORCE SHEILD!" Zack screamed.

"BOUNCED OFF YOUR HAND!" Trailbraker countered.

The ball spun through the air heading right for a waiting t-rex dinobot.

"Me Grimlock got ball!"

The monster sized transformer opened his jaws waiting to catch the ball. Quick as a flash Wildfire was running up the dinobot's back unnoticed.

"Not tonight lizard breath!"

Using the oversized head as a spring board Wildfire leapt into the air snatching the football out of the sky before landing in the mud as graceful as a cat.

"NOOOOOOOOO!" Sideswipe shirked sitting in the mud. "GET HER!"

"Me Grimlock get horsey bot!" Grimlock roared.

The muddy ground shook with each step as the t-rex thundered down the field after the mustang. Wildfire glanced over her shoulder at the gaping jaws. It definitely looked like Jurassic Park. Grimlock was gaining on her fast and he was going to catch her before could make a touchdown. Wildfire hit the brakes and ducked. Grimlock sailed right over her head unable to stop on a dime like the sports car.

"What?!" Grimlock turned his head to look behind him and tripped in the slippery mud.

Mirage and Jazz both had to hold onto the wall as the earth trembled for a good five seconds.

"OOooohh…" Grimlock moaned. "That hurt!"

"Better luck next time big guy." Wildfire grinned as she stood on the top of his head.

The fem nimbly leapt off her perch and trotted into the end zone, triumphantly lifting the ball above her head.

"And that's the game!" Wildfire sing-sanged.

"Damn fem bot!" Sideswipe growled.

Hound offered the young warrior and hand and helped him up out of the mud. Zack walked over and exchanged high fives with the tracker.

"Next time you'll get win Sides." The black truck sneered with a grin that was anything but encouraging.

"Yeah you're no help Zack." Sideswipe hissed. "You should have stayed on my team!"

The black scout shrugged his massive shoulders in a clear "I don't care" gesture.

"No matter what I do one of you two always nags me like a human girl. I can't win."

"Your human giving you trouble again Zack?" Trailbreaker asked as he joined the little party heading back into the Ark.

Zack shook his head and made a disgusted noise.

"You have no idea! She keeps talking about an animal called a… unicorn… and how she's going to "decorate" me with their stickers. She won't shut up about it."

"Come on." Sideswipe said. "Let's hit the wash racks. Maybe if you're clean for once she won't feel the need to make you look good."

"I look fine!" Zack counted as they walked through the entrance to the Ark.

Mirage had to almost leap out of the way as Zack slung mud everywhere as he waved his arm.

"I look better then fine! I don't need some earth animal stickers!"

"Keep telling yo'self that Zack." Jazz chuckled. "Now hit the racks before that mud dries and AJ really has an excuse to pretty you up."

"Hey Mirage!" Hound said brightly. "Did you see the game?"

Mirage ducked as bullet like drops of mud came slinging off the tracker as he turned to greet the blue and white spy.

"Sorry." Hound said a little sheepishly.

Mirage made a face at his cleanliness's close call and had to flatten back against the wall as Grimlock's muddy, lumbering form pressed through the opening.

"Out of way!" The dinobot growled. "Me Grimlock need bath."

Hound got tangled up with the other mechs in front of him as Grimlock pushed them all down the hall. The ball of muddy limbs cursed and yelled at the t-rex who didn't seem to care.

"I'll see you later Mirage!" Hound shouted.

Jazz laughed and pushed himself from the wall to stand in front of Mirage shaking his head at the retreating soldiers.

"Kids today." Jazz joked. "Right?"

"Hmm? Oh, yes. Kids today."

Jazz's mouth quirked into a little smile as Mirage pulled himself out of his thoughts to turn to his commander. He handed the Porsche the data pad with his full report and was ready to go over it with the special ops commanding officer. Jazz quickly glanced over the data and then stuck the pad into his subspace with a shrug.

"Looks pretty boring to me. I'll read it later."

Mirage arched an optic ridge at the carelessness. Prowl wasn't going to be too happy about the delay.

"Don't worry about it." Jazz smiled patting his spy on the back. "You deserve a break. Go on and relax."

Mirage gave Jazz a skeptical look but quickly headed off towards his room. He wasn't going to chance Jazz changing his mind and calling him in for some meeting. He'd let Jazz deal with a pissed off Prowl, besides. Mirage wanted to get to his room as quick as possible. He had just keyed in his pass code when someone put a hand on his shoulder.

"Hey!"

It was Hound, fresh from the wash rack. His usual smile graced his face and Mirage ushered him inside his room. Hound graciously entered and once they were both inside Mirage carefully closed and subtly locked the door.

"So did you see the game 'Raj?" Hound asked happily.

"Just the last part." Mirage purred.

The formula one racer put his hands on his hips and gripped his armor tight. Watching Hound out there being the preverbal gladiator had excited him. But to just drag Hound into his room and, to use a crude human term, jump him, was uncivilized and unbecoming of a former noble mech like him.

"That was a fine display of skill out there."

Hound laughed and sat down on Mirage's recharge berth, not the best move for Mirage's waning will power.

"It wasn't that great. I've done a lot better." Hound joked.

"Looks like you could have washed better." Mirage commented.

Hound quickly looked down at himself. He knew how much Mirage disliked earth dirt. He had been so thrilled to see his lover after a week apart that he had taken the fastest shower of his life. He had thought that he was completely clean but apparently he was wrong.

"Sorry, I thought I got all the dirt off."

"You did, I was talking about your paint job."

"Huh?"

Mirage, and now Hound, noticed that his once deep forest green paint looked faded and a little sun bleached. If he could have blushed Hound would have. Faded paint was like a human in wrinkled untidy clothes. It was shameful to look so unprofessional when he was in Optmius Prime's prestigious unit.

"Yeah, I always forget about it. I should take care of it soon."

"I've got a can of wax you can use."

Mirage quickly produced a fairly expensive looking bottle of human wax and a polishing rag. Hound seemed embarrassed that Mirage thought he looked that bad.

"T-thanks Mirage, I'll head down to the racks in…"

"Nonsense." Mirage said waving his hand dismissively. "I'll help you get your back right now."

The spy twirled his finger around ordering Hound to turn around. The tracker slowly obliged and Mirage sat on the berth next to him.

"So, did you have fun with your football tonight?" Mirage asked.

"Well my team won so I guess you could call it a good night. But I've got a shift with Sideswipe tomorrow and I'm sure I won't hear the end of it." Hound sighed as Mirage rubbed his back in slow circles massaging the wax into the faded paint.

"Does your team win a lot?"

"Well we switch sides all the time and we've all stopped keeping track of the score at this point. But I guess you could say that I'm usually on the winning team."

Hound's tired engine began to purr softly and Mirage smiled a less innocent looking smile then the one Hound was wearing. Nimble black fingers rubbed the rag in long soothing strokes down the tracker's back, deftly getting into all the little corners of the armor and making them shinny once again. Goal one of luring the tracking into a sense of security was done. Now on to faze two.

"You never told me you where on a football team." Mirage pried a little.

"Well… we only play in the rain. I know how much you don't like it so… I didn't want you to feel like you had to show up."

"Well if you play like that every time I don't think I could stop myself from watching."

Hound chuckled softly sounding like he was drifting off in to a light recharge.

"We do put on a show."

"I was talking about you." Mirage purred into Hound's audio.

Hound was wide awake the next moment as some of the spy's fingers wriggled their way into his grill. The tracker gasped as he engine sputtered and nearly stalled in surprise as the slender fingers rubbed the sensitive wires underneath his protective armor.

"Sit still." Mirage commanded. "I'm trying to wax away a stubborn spot."

Hound couldn't stop himself from twisting side to side as pleasing fingers squirmed deeper. Mirage seemed uninterested with Hound's reaction as he moved the rag down to the green midsection and polished the armor there.

"P-Primus Mirage!" The scout gasped.

"Sorry, was that a sentive spot?"

Hound wanted to say "you should know!" but instead of words a trembling moan escaped his vocalizer. Mirage's mouth quirked into a sly little smirk.

"I thought as much. Let me try somewhere else."

Hound's back arched and his hands shot up to clench Mirage's shoulders as the spy rubbed the rag around his codpiece. Hound gasped and whimpered as the cool rag stroked the hypersensitive sensor nods. Pleasure zinged through his neural network, unconsciously causing his legs to part. The devious spy grinned as he roughly grabbed the armor as he whispered in Hound's audio. Whatever he said was lost in the revving of the scout's engine. Mirage grinned as his lovers optics went black for a moment. His smile disappeared when he found himself thrown down onto his back.

Hound had him pinned by the arms to his berth. The scouts cooling fans were still trying to recover from the overload Mirage noticed. The spy smoothly brought his legs together and shifted his hips seductively to the side. He arched his back slightly and made a weak attempt to free his arms. Mirage gave Hound a sweet little smirk as he made himself as small and helpless as possible. Like prey ringing the dinner bell for a hungry predator.

"What… was…" Hound stuttered.

"What was what?" Mirage asked sweetly, all innocents.

Hound glared down at the blue and white ligier who, after a few moments of silence, dropped a little of his innocent act.

"It's called a wax job. Didn't you like it?"

"You could have told me." Hound said, his husky voice betraying him.

Mirage's grin returned as he ran his knee along Hounds inner thigh seductively. When the tracker quivered Mirage lifted himself up on his elbows to nip and whisper in his audio.

"Where's the fun in trying something new if you know about it?" he purred.

The spy let out a small squeak as Hound's hands quickly left his shoulders and clutched his hips and pulled him down to the end of the berth. The jeep carefully eased himself between the liger's legs down to the floor mindful to keep the spy's hips in place.

"So you want to try something new?" Hound growled softly.

Mirage trembled as Hounds rough hands softly fondled his hips struts and then moved to his interface panel.

"Open up for me… Mirage."

At first Mirage wasn't going to comply so easily to the request, but the way Hound had said his name changed his mind. It was soft and yet rough, spoken in a seductive lower octave and it set his entire being on fire. With no more urging Mirage exposed his port and cable to his lover.

"Good bot." Hound teased.

The tracker plugged himself into his beautiful spy and the mech on the berth cried out in pleasure. Mirage had just let his head fall back when Hound severed their connection and unplugged himself. The unsatisfied liger looked back up into the face of an evilly grinning jeep.

"Don't worry I'm just getting started."

Mirage didn't have long to wonder what Hound had planned. The tracker rolled his hips into his partner's grinding their sensitive lover halves together. Mirage gasped at the sensation. Before he could recover Hound jacked himself back into Mirage's port. The sly moaned shamelessly loud at the blast of information sent across the link. But again, before he could send anything back or even properly enjoy the connection it was cut off. This time there was no lapse in-between as Hound thrust himself back onto his lover followed quickly by an explosion of raw data. Mirage clawed uselessly at the berth above his head as he thrashed and groaned under Hound's "care." It was maddening erotic and a completely foreign way of interfacing. It was like being brought to the brink of overload and then pulled back over and over and over. The pleasurable torture seemed to last a life time before a particularly strong balst of data sent him spiraling into overload.

"Too intense for you?" Hound asked panting when the spy came back online.

Mirage couldn't respond for a few moments. His cooling fans whirred loudly and the spy couldn't remember them ever turning on.

"No…" he finally said breathlessly. "It was amazing! Where did you learn how to do that?"

"It's how humans make love."

Mirage sat up and wrapped his arms around Hound's neck.

"We're interfacing like organics?!" he put his lips to Hounds audios. "I feel… sooo dirty!" He growled. "I love it."

Hound shook with pleasure but couldn't resist a little taunt before they continued.

"I thought you HATED getting dirty?"

To his credit, Mirage didn't miss a beat.

"Mmmm, I don't mind if YOU'RE the one making me dirty!" The liger snarled. "Is there anything else humans do that you want to try?"

"As a matter of fact…"

In a flurry of color Hound had picked up Mirage and now had him pinned to the wall, his legs dangling off the floor. Mirage's face light up as he wrapped his legs around the Jeep and gave him a saucy smile.

"Getting rough are we?" He asked happily.

"I've always wanted to." Hound smiled.

Wildfire buffed the last of the mud away from her arm as she made her way through the Ark back to her quarters. The fembot had gone out for a drive after the football game to let the mechs have their run of the wash racks. She wasn't about to let them have the pleasure of making jokes of her showering with them. She had to wait awhile for all of them to be done and out of the racks before she could get her own shower. Zack alone had taken forty five minutes, but now she was clean and on her way back for a quiet night of reading her new human books.

"Ahhhhum!!"

The red mustang stopped mid stride in the hallway at the sound of a muffled cry. She narrowed her optics and glanced around. She was alone in the hall and everyone should have been asleep by now, or at least thinking about recharging. She was just about to start walking again when she heard another cry a little louder then the first one. She found the source of the noise looked to be Mirage's room. The fem gave the door an odd look as she crept closer. Wildfire thought about knocking, but her super spy instincts said "you can get more information eavesdropping." So instead of knocking, the mustang quietly pressed her audio to the cool metal listing intently. A second later she almost screamed as she threw herself into the hall when something heavy was slammed into the door.

"UUUUGH! Take me harder!" floated through the door to Wildfire's horrified audios. "Frag me like a human HARDER Hound!"

Wildfire quickly picked herself up and dashed away from the spy's quarters, but she was unable to escape one final horrifying "HARDER! HADER!" The fem sprinted towards her room unable to get some gruesome mental images out of her processor. She barely noticed when she ploughed into another bot and nearly sent both of them to the floor.

"HEY WATCH IT! I just buffed out these dents!"

Zack shoved Wildfire away and quickly inspected his paint to make sure he didn't have any more scratches.

"What was that all about?!"

"I um… ah… don't… er…" Wildfire flailed her arms wildly. "Just… just don't go down there." She said point back the way she had come. "Don't go."

With that she swerved around the truck transformer and hauled aft out of there without a glance back. Zack gave the fembot's wake a confused look and then turned to look at the innocent looking hall where she had come from. He slowly began making his way through the corridor. There couldn't be anything THAT bad here. Could there?


End file.
